Monday, January 30, 2012
What have I become?
For the first time in my life i believe, i actually shouted at mom in friend of her friends coz i was so stressed up driving with her confusing directions n made me almost bang a godamn lorry. N my brother comes along and of coz my mother starts comparing his angelic self to me. I couldn't control it. My anger is overtaking me. Coz too many shits is happening to me that i am always angry. Thou i never want to be angry coz of the phobia of the hulk aka dad. But more and more im turning into him. And nobody knows why but i know why. I am actually angry at myself. For being everything bad in mom's eyes and being compared and being looked down at by my siblings. But time and time again as much as i wanna avoid being in messy situations i find myself getting all messed up. I wake up almost everyday in regret like i don't feel like waking up ever again. A new day they say i shld start but it ain't
easy like saying it. How can i be positive when im surrounded by negative vibes?? Everytime i tried theres always something that brings me down. How do i believe in me when nobody does? I hate myself i do. :'(
Posted by ZayS at 8:28 AM
Thursday, January 12, 2012
2012
New year and i bet new challenges. Just getting e hang of things and trying to forget e past n make new memories hopefully new ones- and gd ones. Well just hope whatever it is that's gonna happen, it would be betta n make me a betta person altogether. Hope my career is on e right track. Well im also into exploring n discovering new things. I rrly want to travel further this year. N i wish i get to make memories with lovely ppl this time ard. Well gd luck.
Posted by ZayS at 7:54 PM