Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Brilliant Star

Hes like a brilliant star.
And through his brilliance, at times i feel brightened, and at times i feel darkened.
When its bright, i feel hopeful, and when its dark, i feel disappointed.
I hate myself for it.
And I'm so ashamed.
I cant see the stars because the tears keeps on coming
If i continue not to see them, i wont hope and i wont be disappointed.

My star is so far away... further then the moon.
I can only see but not touch.
The Moon is suppose to light it so i can see.
But its the clouds that usually block it from my view.
Once in a while when its full moon.
That i can admire my star from a distance.
So fly me to the moon so I can touch my star.
That is shining so brightly then the others
In other words.............
Please be true.... in other words.........

(Inspired by Korean Drama "You Are Beautiful")

Posted by ZayS at 10:00 PM

Sunday, November 22, 2009

2012 - moral of movie...

Watched 2012(like finally!) and got me thinking... what will i be prepared when its end of the world? and how will i react to the situation and most importantly handle it? there is always things to do and we are always so occupied we can never take a minute to embrace the beauty of nature and appreciate it. In the end you will be left with nothing but yourself and back to nature(when you gets buried or burnt or whichever way to cremate according to respective religion) As im typing now, i wonder how far can the internet and technology last and be of importance to us beings, like the present? I would feel handicap with no mobile phone and the facebook, msn, blog and what have you have become part of our lives. Human contact have been replaced with non living things. But how strong can technology be to withstand the power of nature? And because we don't take a time to understand nature, we take it for granted and neglect it. Our ignorance have made us unprepared and unaware of its greatness. Look at the natural disasters wiping out thousands in a split second, faster then a machine guns or whatever hi-tech machines. i believe its just back to basics of compassion and selflessness which brings happiness and making the world a better place. How many are blinded by greed and competitiveness to the extent of exploiting their own fellow species? The documentary i watched a few days back just make me aware of the cruelty of mankind. Its really mortifying that all these are actually happening behind our backs and we continue to support them not knowing of how it is derived. Anybody with compassion will squirm at the footage link below but i believe its an eye opener and a must watch for awareness sake. Let us not be fooled by others for their own benefits.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=6361872964130308142&hl=eng&fs=true&autoplay=true

Posted by ZayS at 8:40 PM

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Feeling the music!

Finally!! After so longgg i get to go to the jamming studio and rock the beats!!! It was a destressor alright! If only i didn't put aside my passion and interest for other things that aren't fulfulling, i would have been a pro by now. well i hope i can stay committed to it now and polish those rusty skills!

Posted by ZayS at 9:36 PM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

soul-search quest

Soul searching quest seems to be working quite alright... i have been going to the gym the past week to workout and try keep fit. And also starting to pick up guitar back since i realised that its part of a destressor for me. These activities does keep my emotions at bay. I just have to continue to keep myself occupied. As these emotions have gone uncontrollable over the past few weeks. Especially when i don't have anything to occupy me without any obligations, i.e accompanying a friend who goes shopping when i am dead broke - feeling agonized just watching, when i myself desperately need retail therapy.

Now i have a commitment to the band even though i have to line with bass instead of drums... well as long as i get to do what i am interested & most importantly, happy in - music(though i very much am more passionate in drums). But i guess i have to see how far it goes... because the last time i got committed to something or someone, i just seem to back out for whatever reasons. It could be my impatience to see results, or fear or merely pressurized by others' words and influence to do something. And the song "Nothing Else Matters" made me realise that it is indeed true in part of the lyrics... "forever trust in who we are... and nothing else matters".

Though my parents are pressuring me to take up hairdressing as a skill just because they saw the 'talent' i have... but i am just keeping my options open and delaying from enrolling impulsively. Even though i do feel i should learn as many skills as i can... just not to the extend that it adds pressure to me and unable to cope and ending up with nothing in the end. I just need to find my true identity and see what works best for me and to do something i enjoy doing and not obligated to do it just because it is my parent's underachieved dream. It isn't fair when i am given the option to 'continue study' or 'get married' next year - like WHAT THE HECK! Its just less then 2 months to next year! Come on! Be reasonable and realistic when giving time-line for decision-making! Perhaps the very culture i am growing up in might be the very reason why i am always making mistakes or making the wrong move. I am so sick and tired of making decisions recklessly, causing my downfall. Its time to stop that nonsense! Well lets just see where fate brings me and hopefully things will get better. Just have to trust in me, myself & I.

~to the quest of joy!

Posted by ZayS at 12:42 PM

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Bollocks!

This Sat sucks! Just because Im killing time in the office right now due to cock-up plans! Im supposed to go to the djembe drumming circle at East Coast Park, then head back to town as another friend booked the tix here for movies and cant be rescheduled! and the friend im supposed to go djembe drumming with is still at home to take the car to drive us there and I figured no point going drumming for a short period of time and to rush back to Orchard for movie at 6.30pm!

Fortunately there's a collegue staying back to entertain me with ghost stories and Singapore's history. Well we get to talk about life and all which is pretty good stuffs. Like, how we perceive life can affect our destiny with metaphors like the tinted-lensed spectacles, where an empty paper can be colourful and nicely painted when you put on those. Another example is the chips with diarrhoea; even though you know you'll get diarrhoea eating them you still eat as it gives you a sense of indulgence even though it causes you to suffer a bad diarrhoea. And another one; a glass of chalky water when left for a few days will precipitate will settle and become clear - how our mind see things. How habits and addictions cultivated and it's hard to steer away from those.

However, I am quite pissed as I thought I could experience the Djembe drumming circle activity for once atleast! Sigh. I JUST BLOODY HATE IT WHENEVER MY PLANS FAIL TO HAPPEN!

Posted by ZayS at 4:45 PM

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Horrorween!

Halloween party was Fun! More fun just people watching! all sorta costumes and characters! Ive never seen people walking on streets with weird and crazy costumes! I was the She-Devil with my crazy red horns headband! HAHA. while my fren was the man-eating office secretary... was a great experience overall!