Thursday, August 30, 2007

EsCaPe.

Once again I relied on the hot shower to blend with my warm tears.
I wasn't strong enough to stop it from flowing uncontrollably.
My tears streamed continuously for what seemed like eternity.
It felt so good to just drown myself in the wet heat.
Just like the revitalising effect you get from the hot springs.
As I felt my knees grew weak from the shiver, I repositioned.
Siting on the ceramic tile and curling up my body as the water sprayed on my head.
It was soothing and it was as if I had entered another world unintentionally.
It works for me everytime.
A Powerful form of escape.

Posted by ZayS at 4:43 PM

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The hot, steamy water drenched my body
Washing away the anger, hatred, guilt and agony
Scouring the internal and external of my anatomy
Cleansing to diminish the unbearable scrutiny

I scrubbed away what's left of these anguish thoughts
Rinsed off the blood from my deep, open wound
Gargling in the words that comes out in dead silence
Exfoliating to shed off the dead cells to allow the skin to reborn

Engrossed and immersed in my own, made world
Alone together with Calm and Serenity
The warmth from the running water is laving
All is to be washed whiter than snow - into purity

But as I stepped out of the shower into the cold air
The real miserable world sets in
The remains of the stained blood, drying into scab and turning into a scar
Acts as a reminder of your ugly past and present that might affect your potential future...

Posted by ZayS at 5:36 PM

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"Grief is an emotional response to the loss of something or someone you valued. It is a very natural thing to grieve but there are a number of ways people respond, mostly by some form of emotional expression. Some people react in a most frightening way; some accept things on the surface; some respond by physical expression like crying; others may fall sick."

-Extraction

Posted by ZayS at 4:42 PM

Monday, August 13, 2007

im battling my emotions not to conquer me
bt sumhw my evil emotions take control of my mind. i allowed it.
i was always tinkng the negative side of everyting.
was i born to be pessimistic?

if so, its time for a change
cant stand my emotions confusing me anymore
manipulating me til deres no more of myself inside me
if oni tears are meant for joy, i will be happy most of my life
unfortunately tears are meant for misery and pain and agony and sorrow
will i be so tired of it soon til all the emotions will be sucked out of me?

"yesterday will never be forgotten... who can really be there to rescue me from my insanity... now i appreciate him(dad)more."

this is how i'll describe it :-

"im floating tru chaos
tru bedlam
tru frenzied clamour of violence and hatred
tru savagery and pain" -thx to shid

Posted by ZayS at 11:14 PM

Friday, August 03, 2007

NEVER BE REPLACED...

i miss her...
i miss the touch of her dry,thin skin
i miss the smell of her hair cream she uses everyday when i kissed her forehead
i miss the soft comfort of the womanly curves whenever i hugged her
i miss looking at her grayish blue eyes whenever i gazed to talk to her
i miss her smile whenever she laughed or hear my lame jokes
i miss massaging her aching and swollen legs
i miss watching her favorite dramas on the television till the wee hours with her.
i miss her love, care and concern
i miss how she listens and understands
i miss her company
i miss u granny.

MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE. I LOVE U.

...Deceased on 7th April 2007 [1938-2007]...