Friday, April 23, 2010
Depression Fucking Fight Back!
It had been just so depressing for me. How screwed up my life feels like. I feel hopeless, useless, unwanted. Nobody knows what or why I am feeling the way I feel. Probably its best to just vanish. But there's fear that I can't survive on my own. I had been too dependent. It sucks big time for not being especially financially independent. I hate my job & its having a ripple effect on the quality of my life. With my health problems, it made me feel worst. Why can't I be as energetic as my other peers? Well the reason is probably simple. I'm attracting the bad things in life because I'm always feeling bad. Tried to be optimistic every time but i just can't do it on my own... therefore it doesn't last. I'll go back to my pessimistic ways. Though Ive many friends, I feel lonely. Well what makes me depress most is money. At least I can make myself happy by pampering myself, go on holidays and spend on great food! Why time and time again I let my naivety gets the best of me. We are told not to regret our decisions because there's always a reason why things happened. Heck! Whatever I decide in my life becomes a liability and costing me every bit & affecting my emotions! Its just difficult for me to cope with pressure. But to live here you have pressure on you at every single angle. I desperately want a new environment but because I'm still in my comfort zone its stopping me from venturing out. So I'm simply stuck! I wish I have a time machine to transport me back to my original introvert self & live life as simplest as possible. Because it seems being ambitious does backfire!
Posted by ZayS at 9:13 AM