Saturday, September 18, 2010
wrong day...
wrong day, everything is just so wrong.
a happy start turned disaster.
im exhausted from crying a bucket.
she drove me to my insanity.
just as i was about to seek help,
help wasn't there.
there was just me.
just me...
where is everyone when i need?
a bad 'deed' is overlooked by ALOT of good 'deeds'.
im in no frame of mind to forgive
something as big as this...for now...
its a saturday morning i'll remember
couldn't go to work.. needed to let it out.
walked all the way to the family service centre
as tears running down my cheeks...
when i reached there, the shutters down,
i almost become insane...
i sobbed hard like it's my funeral
i bang on the windows, nobody heard...
i cried some more and the messages came
made me cry harder... making my heart crush.
im heartbroken by their reactions...
remorseful by my own reaction.
but i was provoked and as i fought to control
i couldn't... i was provoked, tormented...
emotionally wrecked, i can only vent physically
im sick of being abuse, verbally abuse
yes, im no saint
im no saint like the rest of you, like him.
im what i am now because of her, you.
the monster was ignited by her.
yes, im the devil to your eyes
no, my good deeds are not seen
yes, ive gone immoral
no, i didn't ask to be this.
im torn...
torn and tattered...
torn and tattered beyond repair...
beyond repair.
i need a remedy to fight this fury...
fury which is repressed all these years
getting stronger with each passing day...
waiting for the moment of trigger to ignite.
thrived to make it right again
but it continued to go wrong...
wanna bang the drums, enroll in riding,
wanna catch a happy movie.. but again..
just grateful now, a cafe is open...
i NEED to express... now...
no better alternative than this...
when words are described best.
Thank you dear diary.
Thank you for hearing me.
Thank you for allowing me to express.
Thank you for accompanying me now.
Posted by ZayS at 11:34 AM