Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Patience & Sincerity.

Cried so hard after the debate previous night.
Yet, it came down to no solution.
It was all for nothing - my puffy & swollen eyes.
Ended up hurting and getting hurt.
A lose-lose situation.

Unsure of what triggers IT - the frustration & sorrow.
Wish it wasn't blurted out.
It felt good after the tears dried up.
There is still guilt though.
Because I truly didn't mean to hurt.

I was just angry and depressed.
I yearned for her presence & guidance.
I tried to be reasonable because of the hecticness.
But it seems all she's concerned about,
is the people who doesn't appreciate her.

What about me, her eldest daughter?
Am I not worthy of her attention?
Hadn't I sacrificed my interests for her?
Is it a chore to appreciate sumone?
It is heartbreaking especially in your loneliness.

It looked like the nearer i tried to be, the further she's drifting.
I'm afraid to lose her... she's all I've got.
I want to make every moment with her memorable.
But the times we spent are so limited,
I can't understand why she can't try.

I'm dissapointed she don't want to look at the bright side.
She's selfish to mention death even though I still need her.
I lost the woman I truly admired & loved.
Even if she can't be that woman, I hope she'll make the effort.
I want to respect her more than I respect other's mother.

I admire her as the master of every task.
I pity how she had sacrificed to bring us up.
It's too bad she's not strong enough to face challenges.
I wish I could depend on her as a source of comfort,
and be my cushion when I fall...It's hard, It's hard.

I'm afraid. I'm in total darkness. With no love, I can't be strong.
Day by day, I feel I'm becoming her reflection.
I want to shun away from the culture that I'm instilled with.
I refuse to be like her, but the mirror is telling the opposite.
I hope our relationship will blossom soon before it's too late...


The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac


Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck


I will try to keep these in mind...

Posted by ZayS at 11:59 AM