Sunday, February 24, 2008
estatic+emo= estaticmo!
I had a whole good, dirty fun these few weeks! I believe I had enjoyed myself very much. But what's missing. During these weeks of entertainment I was at the same time trying to overcome my problems... giving me alot of up and down emotions. Amazingly it could change like a click of a button. The only difference though, is that I can't control it like a remote control. It's funny really. And all these fun and entertainment became 'forced' as I feel my health deteriorating. I've been having body aches and feeling lethargic almost all the time now. And it is affecting my mood and the supposedly quality time spent with my friends. I find it disgusting and these feelings make me feel depressed. I hate it to the core whenever I made any blunders that I feel would make other people think bad about me, as it would affect my mood even for the next couple of days just brooding over it... until I can know for sure that there are not feeling that way and its just my imagination. I seriously need to get out of my comfort zone. I guess I have to find a way to accept myself and the way I am and try to erase that low self-esteem. Sigh. Why me?
Posted by ZayS at 7:20 PM